Today I started back at school after taking a semester off. I honestly didn't think I'd have any problems getting back into it. I mean, I don't, but things are so different. Since I started back a year and a half ago, I have taken either night or online classes. It just always worked out that way. Mike would come home from work and I'd leave for a class. Or I'd log into a class as time allowed.
This time? I don't have those options. My last three classes and they're all on campus (the one far away from me) and in the morning. It's so weird. The halls are filled with very young people. The classroom is filled with very young people. And I? I was not one of them.
Anyway, I started to silently panic today during class when the instructor went on and on about how he won't allow students to keep their cells on vibrate. If he catches anyone in that situation he will raise hell and blah, blah, blah. This sucks for me b/c I had planned on doing just that because while I'm in school in the morning, so is Maile. And if the school calls me to get her for whatever reason (getting sick, getting hurt, etc.) then I'm kinda screwed. And what if something happens with Kale while I'm not there? I won't know until later. And that makes me like such a crappy parent. I don't like not being able to "be there" for my babies. Today I was almost late to pick up Maile (my class ends 45 minutes before Maile's school lets out and it takes me that long just to drive there from the campus). Luckily, a friend also has her kids there so I was able to call her and ask her to stay with Maile in case I'm too late. I hate that feeling in the pit of my stomach...what is it? Oh, yeah. I know. Guilt.
Anyway, I talked to one of my awesome friends today and she assured me that she would help me out and pick Maile up from school for me if I ever need her to. She lives close enough to Maile's school so it works out. I just need to put her name and number down on the emergency contact list. And her and another friend have both offered to help watch Kale in the mornings if I need them to.
I will be so glad when this semester is over. Not just because I'll finally have finished but because then I won't feel so guilty for even going at all.